A quiet presence

Immediately after skyping with Amanda and Theodore, the next task was to share my news with Hannah, Joshua and Angela.   Since we were already out, Christopher and I asked the kids to meet us for dinner.   Because of the difference in their ages, we kept the initial conversation rather basic, only sharing that I had found a lump in my breast .  As expected, they each had a different reaction.

Hannah was sitting across from me at dinner and beside Christopher.  As I talked and looked around the table at my family, I saw Christopher having a side conversation with Hannah.  I heard him ask her, "You know what she is saying right?"  Crying, Hannah nodded her head.  Again my heart broke...it was easier being brave for Amanda because she was only on my phone screen as I talked with her but when Hannah cried, I just wanted to cry with her.

When we finished dinner, Hannah drove me back to my car and we sat and talked.  I was honest and answered the questions she had.  As I got out of the car I told her I loved her and would see her at home.  However, Hannah shared she wanted to go for a drive.  She came home several hours later...I never asked where she had gone.  I knew Hannah just needed to reflect and begin to accept the news we had shared.  I was worried about her though.  You see Hannah was preparing to leave for college in a month and I single handedly was turning her world upside down.

If there is one thing I knew about Hannah it is this...she is strong-willed and is able to work through her problems.  However, the manner in which she does so is quite different from her big sister.  She tends to keep to herself and finds comfort in nature. Hannah is a nurturer, a giver and  a quiet presence when you need it most.

I awoke the next morning  after telling Hannah to find a vase of flowers on the kitchen table with a note that said, " I love you" tied to them.  It wasn't signed but I knew exactly who they were from...my sweet Hannah. It was comforting to know she was ready for this journey.

Over the next 9 months, Hannah was there to offer assistance in any way possible.  She sorted and delivered all the Evil Lumps and Woozles tshirts, proudly wore her pink tutu and the night before the Race for the Cure made me my very own pink tutu.  She bought me little gifts she knew I would enjoy, helped me with holiday tasks and errands and just made life normal for our family.


Even though Hannah was away at school during my surgeries and treatments she was quick to send support by text.  She wore pink on milestone days in my treatment and was with me the day I learned I was cancer free.  Hannah came home as much as she could and even surprised me with a special visit earlier in the year just because.  Her quirkiness and amazing sense of humor always made me laugh.  Yes, laughter really is the best medicine!






Hannah, you are special and have the biggest heart!  Your jokes, smile and dedication offered comfort and relief when I needed it most.  I am so very proud to be your mom.  I love you!